100+ Accounting Jokes - Business Jokes - Finance Jokes
You can do a lot with these accounting jokes. You can tell them at work and make all of your co-workers feel bad for your sense of humor. You can tell them at a bar and get ignored. You can tell them on your vacation and contemplate your priorities. Your options are truly endless once you start defaulting to accounting jokes when talking to people.
All of these accounting jokes come from the world famous literary classic “Financial Jokes for Financial Folks”. Some say it’s the greatest coffee book table of all time. You’d be surprised how many people, even non-financial people, pick up this book and laugh out loud. There’s just something about a good accounting joke that brightens a room.
If you enjoy the jokes on this page then you have the opportunity to buy them in book form to share with all your friends… or folks you don’t like.
This book and website were written and built by a guy named Andrew Worden. For twenty seven years he’s been cracking puns like they’re knuckles on the hands of someone who cracks their knuckles way too much.
Why can’t the car payment make any friends?
Because they’re always “a loan”
My company keeps overspending trying to move this giant rock…
In other words, they can’t budget!
How did the accountant unlock their door?
They used their ten key
Why do fixed interest rates smell so bad?
Because they never change
I keep trying to tell my accounting jokes at work…
But my boss says it’s hardly “material”
What did the financially responsible student do to get good grades?
They paid off their “principal”
What do you call really tall expenses?
Why did the accountant push the salaries, wages, and bonuses down the hill?
She wanted to see the payroll
Why did the financial analyst give his daughter gifts today instead of waiting until Christmas?
Because he understands “Present Value”
Did you hear about the new superhero, Accounts Payable Woman?
She had superhuman li-abilities
What kind of debt did the secret agent issue?
A bond, James Bond.
Why was the banker bad at playing music?
Because they only knew how to play a Treasury note
What does an accountant use to hang decorations?
How do you tell an accountant to be quiet?
You tell them to use their invoice
What do you call a vendor that never tells the truth?
What do you call a marathon for Accounts Payable Analysts?
A settlement run
I bite all my quarters…
Now I have a lot of bitcoin
How did the Medical Plan say goodbye?
Why did the cash analyst become a pirate?
Because she knew a lot about treasury
How did the Marine pay for food on his business trip?
He used his carpe per diem
If you enjoy reading these jokes then please consider buying the same exact jokes in book form in order to support my ongoing effort to pay back how much I spent on the cover. Someone recently bought a copy and left this review:
"This little joke book is so bad, it’s good. A real groaner. Perfect to have at the office in a client waiting area."
So it's got something going for it! Please click the button below!
More Accounting Jokes
What do you call an “inventory” of boats?
Finished goods available for sail
Did you hear about the creditor who got bored?
He lost interest
What do you call a liability without any friends?
I repaired the building we pay rent for…
It’s safe to say it’s a “fixed” cost
What do you call it when a group of executives falls back during battle?
A corporate retreat
Why did the clean freak hate dealing with Cost of Goods Sold?
Because it always made their profit “gross”
P & L went to make an announcement…
Well I guess it was less of an announcement and more of an income statement
Why did the clown business go bankrupt after 5 years?
They had a large balloon loan
What kind of costs does a dishes company have?
They vary a bowl (variable)
Did you hear about the butter company who switched to accrual-based accounting?
They started recording income when it’s actually “churned”
Did you hear about all the shared expenses going to Hawaii?
It was their allo-cation
How did the mortgage on the deserted island feel?
What do you call dogs trying to establish an LLC?
Creating their “beagle” structure
Why are rabbits so focused on working capital?
It’s necessary for maintaining day to day “hop-erations”
How do you tell how profitable a butter company is?
Look at the “net margarine”
Why was the fishing store so valuable?
It had a lot of “net” worth
What do you call it when Quickbooks enters the atmosphere?
Have you heard of car accident liquidity?
It’s how quickly something can be converted into “crash”
Did you hear about the well-funded alphabet company?
They had 26 sources of “capital”
Why is prepaid expense soup so thick?
Because it’s reduced every month